The Elf Liberation Front’s New Year: Trafalgar Square Will Never Be the Same

Red Dragon Writer
Jun 21, 2025
3 min read

Greetings, humans, fae-folk, and anyone who’s ever wondered why their garden gnome keeps winking at them! Elrondo Sparklebeard here, Supreme Spokeself of the Elf Liberation Front (ELF), and I’m positively tingling with excitement (and a little leftover pixie dust) to announce our grandest New Year celebration yet—right in the heart of London’s Trafalgar Square, on June 21st, 2025.

Yes, you read that right. While you lot are, perhaps, still recovering from your January 1st hangovers, we elves are just getting started. For us, the true New Year is the summer solstice—a time when magic is at its peak, the sun barely sets, and even the pigeons seem a bit more sparkly.

The Festivities: Glitter, Glee, and Gnome Tossing

This year, we’re pulling out all the stops. Trafalgar Square will be transformed into a veritable elven wonderland. Expect fairy lights strung from lamppost to lamppost, enchanted fountains bubbling with elderflower cordial, and a suspiciously large number of toadstools popping up overnight (don’t sit on those unless you want to spend the evening speaking in rhymes).

Our opening ceremony? A synchronized dance by the Royal Elven Ballet, featuring interpretive moves inspired by the ancient art of dodging human tourists. There will be a gnome-tossing contest (strictly voluntary gnomes, of course), a “Pin the Ears on the Human” game, and, for the brave, a limbo competition under a magically floating willow branch.

Wishes for Recognition: Hear Us, O Humans!

But it’s not all fun and games (well, mostly it is, but we do have a serious side). This year, the ELF is making a heartfelt plea for recognition. For too long, elves have been relegated to the background—blamed for missing socks, accused of garden mischief, and, worst of all, overlooked in the King’s Honours List.

Our demands are simple:

Official recognition of the Summer Solstice as Elf New Year (with a public holiday, naturally).
A commemorative blue plaque on every tree in Hyde Park.
A lifetime supply of biscuits (for invisibility research, of course).
A seat at the next United Nations Magical Creatures Summit (we promise not to turn anyone into a frog—unless provoked).
And a knigthood—Sir Elrondo has a certain ju-na-say-kwa, don't you think?

The Countdown: Elven Style

As midnight (well, technically, 11.30 a.m. elf time) approaches, we’ll gather around the Square for the grand countdown. Instead of fireworks, expect a dazzling display of will-o’-the-wisps, synchronized fireflies, and the occasional accidental spell (last year, we turned three lamp posts into candy canes—delicious, but confusing for the traffic wardens).

The highlight? The ceremonial raising of the Great Elven Banner atop the Square, followed by a rousing chorus of our national anthem, “We’re Not Just for Christmas.”

A Gentle Warning (With a Wink)

Now, we elves are a peaceful bunch, but let’s just say we have our ways of making a point. Should our reasonable demands go unheeded, Lord Nelson’s statue (the one with the rather stern expression) may find itself sporting a rather fetching pair of pointy ears and a glittery green cloak come sunrise. Nothing permanent, mind you—just a little reminder that elves are here, we’re magical, and we’re not above a bit of harmless fun.

Join the Revelry!

So, humans, fae, and curious cats, join us in Trafalgar Square this June 21st. Bring your best dance moves, your shiniest shoes, and, if you’re feeling generous, a packet of biscuits for the cause. Together, let’s make this the most magical, mischievous, and memorable New Year celebration London has ever seen.