The Uncharted Path: Do you Need To Be Mad To See Elf's At Christmas (Hint: a bit of eggnog goes a long way.)

Red Dragon Writer
Aug 13, 2025
4 min read

Greetings, festive mortals, sugar fiends, and those who think “elf sighting” is a legitimate excuse for missing work on Boxing Day. I am Elrondo Sparklebeard, Supreme Spokeself for the Elf Liberation Front, social media sensation, and the only elf who can out-sass a Christmas cracker joke. Today, I’m here to answer the age-old question: can humans really see elves at Christmas, or is it just the result of a catastrophic combination of sugar, mulled wine, and questionable decisions under the mistletoe?

Let’s be honest, humans: your Christmas season is a masterclass in overindulgence. You start with “just one” mince pie, and before you know it, you’re three boxes deep, your teeth are stuck together with marzipan, and you’re seeing sparkly things out of the corner of your eye. (Spoiler: sometimes it’s tinsel, sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s just the cat with a bauble stuck to its tail.)

Then there’s the mulled wine. Oh, the mulled wine! You brew it in cauldrons, ladle it into mugs the size of your head, and top it off with enough spices to make a dragon sneeze. After your third cup, you’re convinced you can hear sleigh bells, see reindeer on the roof, and—if you squint hard enough—spot a pointy-eared figure raiding your biscuit tin. Is it an elf? Or is it just Uncle Barry in his novelty socks, looking for the last brandy snap? The line, much like your vision, is blurry.

And let’s not forget the mistletoe. That innocent little plant, dangled in doorways, is responsible for more awkward family moments than any other Christmas tradition. You stand there, loitering with intent, hoping for a festive snog from your wife’s gorgeous sister (don’t deny it, I’ve seen you). Meanwhile, your actual wife is watching from the kitchen, wielding a rolling pin and the kind of smile that says, “Try it, and you’ll be eating mince pies through a straw.”

So, when you finally “see” an elf—usually around midnight, when the sugar crash hits and the mulled wine has turned your legs to jelly—ask yourself: is it really a magical being from the North Pole, or just the result of your body desperately trying to process 4,000 calories and a litre of spiced booze?

Let me let you in on a little secret: elves are everywhere at Christmas. We’re the ones who untangle your fairy lights (and then tangle them again for fun). We’re the reason your presents mysteriously move from under the tree to under the sofa. We’re the ones who eat the last chocolate from the advent calendar and leave the empty wrapper, just to watch you blame the dog.

But can you actually see us? Well, that depends. Some say only the pure of heart can spot an elf. Others claim you need to believe in magic, or at least have 20/20 vision and a high tolerance for glitter. Personally, I think it’s a combination of sleep deprivation, sugar overload, and the kind of festive optimism that makes you think you can fit into your Christmas jumper from 2009.

Let’s be real: most “elf sightings” are just humans at their most delightfully unhinged. You’re hopped up on sugar, tipsy on mulled wine, and so desperate for a bit of magic (or a snog) that you’ll believe anything. You see a flash of green, a twinkle of tinsel, and suddenly you’re telling everyone at the office party that you’ve “definitely seen an elf.” Next thing you know, you’re trending on TikTok, and your mother-in-law is knitting you a hat with ears.

But here’s the thing: maybe that’s the real magic of Christmas. Not the actual sighting of elves (though, between us, we do love a good photobomb), but the willingness to believe in something a little bit silly, a little bit sparkly, and a lot more fun than reality. Maybe elves are just the excuse you need to let loose, eat too many biscuits, and blame your questionable dance moves on “elfish mischief.”

So, this Christmas, if you think you see an elf—whether it’s me, your tipsy uncle, or just a particularly festive houseplant—embrace it. Raise a glass of mulled wine, sneak another mince pie, and plant a kiss on whoever’s under the mistletoe (with consent, obviously). After all, Christmas is the one time of year when a little bit of magic, mischief, and mayhem is not only allowed, but encouraged.

And if you wake up on Boxing Day with a hangover, a half-eaten biscuit, and a vague memory of seeing a sparkly figure dancing on the mantelpiece—well, let’s just say, what happens at Christmas, stays at Christmas.